confession
- i’m afraid that i’m not confident enough to be the person i need to be to do what im about to do over the next five months -
my heart beats fast. i’m excited and scared. excited to go. scared to leave. i brace for the challenge and the adventure ahead without many presumptions about what is on the other side. this is the part where i get introspective and start wondering how it could be me…
no matter how many times i pull at my clothes, brush my hair out of my face, reposition my feet and check my non-existent text messages, i can’t seem to find a place to set my gaze and focus without wondering how the the person in this little awkward body has what it takes to take this big step after so many hard ones. i’m weak and worn after the hardest year of my life. my body is tired. my head is foggy. my heart is drained. and my soul is beat.
yet somehow i have been carried through to this point. carried through by a hidden, quiet and unexplainable strength. and i am here now about to take that step because…
i’ve never walked alone…even through the deepest of waters.
gosh, rosey. it’s just so beautiful. so unadulterated and unapologetic. i sometimes wonder if this is how all people really think, deep inside, but then i realize they must not, because, how could they have considerations like these, and remain so ugly? intensity like this makes one iridescently stunning. i learn a lot from you, even though, technically, i barely know you.
Rosey, you are strong. You have been carried through this time by a God who loves you; who is madly in love with you. He will continue to carry you through this next amazing adventure. This is your time Rosey. Your time to be you, to be the wonderful human being that God created you to be. I love you and am inspired by your beauty and creativity everyday. I’m so grateful to God that He brought me to Bright Hope if for no other reason than to meet you and Anna. You have touched my life and my heart for eternity.
Bless you!